Given the popularity of lists, the fact that I am “dropping cards” at the moment, and my propensity to rant when things annoy me, here is a list, in no particular order, of:

1. Blogs that have HUGE pictures at the top that fill the entire “first page” of the browser window. I don’t care about your picture, I want to see what you wrote.
2. Blogs that have bad Flash plug-ins that cause the browser to crash or freeze the whole computer.
3. Blogs that are full of other people’s content. If I have to scroll past that stupid “OMG this this so cute kitten scared of RC mouse” video one more time, I am going to blow up the Internet.
4. Blogs that have horrendous typos or grammatic abuse in static modules (the titles, sidebars, etc.). I understand typos and so forth in individual entries, but spelling something wrong in your graphics or blog title is shoddy. (This of course does not apply to those blogs where English is not the natural language of the author.)
5. Blogs that have so many ads in the sidebars it’s an eye-straining nightmare patchwork of conflicting colors, designs, and themes.
6. Blogs that have so many widgets, ads, plug-ins, etc., that they take forever to load.
7. Blogs that say “subscribe to me and I’ll subscribe to you!” If I like your blog I’ll subscribe to it, maybe; or I might just favorite it so I can see the layout instead of just getting the content. And I don’t want to just bulk up my feed subscriber count or inflate my hit counter numbers. I want readers who actually appreciate my efforts, and you should too.
8. Blogs with the “pay me to write about you” ad buttons. I understand the “Pay per post” stuff is nice for some bloggers or whatever … I have no problem, generally speaking, with affiliate programs and sponsored blogs. But, similar to #7, I don’t want to buy your opinion. If some one is going to write about me, I want it to be honest and legit, even if the post isn’t favorable. Own your opinion, don’t let it be rented.
9. Blog layouts in umteen shades of pink. I hate pink. Not only is it an obnoxious color all by itself, too often the people who use it have saccharine content.
10. Blogs participating in the EC program that don’t have fkg EC widgets on their blogs. That’s not fair, guys. Also, EC “cards” that link to sites that are not blogs.
11. Blogs by people selling blog layout templates that have lame layouts for their own blogs. WTF is up with that?
12. Blogs filled with flowers or cats, or both. There is so much more to the Universe, and so many other symbols of peace, simplicity, comfort, humor, earthiness, etc., dare to be a little original. We don’t see nearly enough turtles, platypuses, or loons. Hedgehogs are freakin’ hilarious. Give the cats a a rest already.
13. Blogs that repost “lolcats” from ICanHasCheezBurger.com without mentioning where they “borrowed” the image from. Seriously, give the cats a rest.
14. Blogs that hotlink. Bandwidth theft is not only wrong, if the image gets moved, you get nothing. Host your own darn images. Photobucket is free.
15. EC “cards” that use copyrighted material for their images. Intellectual property theft is still theft.

That being said, please, if your blog includes any of the items on my list, don’t leave angry comments about it or go out of your way to pick on my blog. Everyone is entitled to hir own opinion, and as an American I have the right to share mine fairly freely. If you see items on my list that could apply to your blog, and some one else comments that they agree that attribute is annoying, please, for the love of the blogosphere, consider a change.

I wonder if, somewhere, somehow I am doing something wrong. Since I started participating in the EC program, I’ve seen a lot of blogs … I’m delighted to have found some of them: excellent content, witty and talented authors, appealing layouts.

But what really puzzles me are some of what I’ve taken to thinking of as the “Pink Mommy” blogs. (Not all of them are actually pink; it’s more a flavor of the blog than a literal hue.)

They blog about they did this, that and the other with their brood (often 3+ kids). They went shopping, they did crafts, they visited, etc., etc., etc.

They are also active in various blogger groups and activities: card drops, blog commenting, message boards, and so on.

What I wonder is, when do these women sleep?

I have four kids and a part-time job. I have two dogs, and the Hubby has a cat; we have a house with a yard; I have extended family to keep in touch with, groceries to buy, unschooling to guide the kids through, my compulsion to write, and my own need to periodically learn new things.

And, oh, yeah, now and then I have to eat, clean myself, and sleep.

I have been attempting all week to find a schedule for myself that allows me to do all these things in a timely manner. And my conclusion is that it is impossible to achieve with only 24 hours in a day.

So apparently the Pink Mommies have found a way to sideslip time, wedging more hours into their days than the rest of us have access to. (The ugly alternative is that some of them are stretching the truth about their offline activities, and I am not one to cast such stones.)

So, if you are a Pink Mommy Blogger (henceforth herein PMB) that has happened across this post, consider this an invitation to initiate me in the arcane skill of time-wedging. I could use it. Thank you.

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